


Sunshine

by skeletonwaltz



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), K-pop
Genre: Cute, F/F, Fluff, Girl Band, K-pop References, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9556364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeletonwaltz/pseuds/skeletonwaltz
Summary: You always knew you didn't have what it takes to become a k-pop star and the end of your trainee period at YG's academy isn't far. But you never thought you would find something else there, something that would make you want to stay -someone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a shameless self-insert for whoever has fallen in love with our beautiful angel Lisa. Intended to be a girl's POV.

I met her while she was still a trainee at YG’s facilities for creating stars, and damn, she was the brightest one.

I had been there for two years now and I was well aware that my talent would barely take me to the back row of a scenario while someone else stole the spotlight, someone far prettier and better at everything than me. And despite I had come to terms with the idea, that was my last month before my contract with the famous KPOP label ended, and being certain that there would be no renewal began to make me bitter. I had started genuinely envying and disliking those I saw as my competitor in a world I was about to stop being part of.

I stumbled upon a slim figure in the hallways one day, while I was going back to the dorms. At first I was startled. She was taller than me –taller, in fact, that most people I had met there– and looked at me from above with a pair of big brown eyes wide open. “Sorry!” she stuttered, and a warm smile followed her apology. I blinked, as if I had gone blind for a second. “No, I’m sorry!”, I replied quickly. “I should have paidd attention to where I was going”. The urge of accepting the burden of the incident took me by surprise; I had never been a kind person (that hadn’t helped my career as an idol either) but somehow I felt the compulsion of exonerating her. Her grin broadened and she made this quirky gesture with her hands that I found lovely. “Ahh, I’m always running into trouble! Silly me”. She had a slight foreign accent, with strong consonants, and light brown hair framed her round, doll-like features. Not knowing what else to say, I bowed politely and got out of her way and into my dorm. I had trouble sleeping that night, for every time I closed my eyes, my heart jumped with the memory of her cherubic manners and sweet voice addressing to me.

I knew the girl had that something all idols aspire to achieve the moment I bumped into her, she had a spark, and I should have hated her for that. However, I found it impossible. Was she a new trainee or did she just not walk around a lot? If I had met her by chance in that corridor, maybe I would be able to see her again around the facility. At least once before I left the place for good, I thought. I found myself thinking about her more often than I would have liked, but I tried to not put too much of my mind on that.

A long week passed. The incident didn’t come to my mind as often as it had the first few days afterwards, but it remained silent in a corner and every time I saw a brown haired girl that seemed to match her slim build it jumped forward and made my heart skip a beat. Sadly, it was never her, until one day, it was.  
The cafeteria was almost empty and I was having a milk tea all by myself while browsing my social media. I had to look terrible –hair up in a scruffy bun, sunglasses and weariness engraved on my face– and I took my time to react when someone took a nearby chair and pulled it towards the other side of the table I was occupying.

“Long time no see, huh!”, she greeted me with a familiar voice so warm that could melt the North Pole. “Do you mind if I sit here?”.

Hoping the sunglasses could conceal my bewilderment, I nodded and pushed my cell phone aside.

“I wasn’t very polite the other day”, she said. “Trainees should be friendly with each other, no? My name is Lisa”.

I mumbled my name trying to return her smile and probably told her something about how she hadn’t been rude at all, can’t quite recall. My heart pounding inside my chest deafened every sound other than her words. I have no idea how, but I managed to start a conversation. We talked about many things. About one of her friends, who was born in New Zealand and was having a hard time adapting to the YG training just like her; about her amazing language skills, considering she was from Thailand and had been required to be fluent in Korean really fast. As she spoke, it was more than evident that she was straining herself to become better in every way, she was working her skin off. ‘And I thought I worked hard’, I chuckled to myself. There was something in her eyes that made it obvious that she was pouring her very soul into the training and she dreamed big, but still was humble. Maybe that had been it all along: she seeped confidence and aptitude from every pore but she didn’t act the part, unlike many others who walked around the academy looking at everyone else over their shoulder. She felt so genuine, and I fell for her soul as effortlessly and inescapably as a sunflower follows the sun.

The dream didn’t last very long. In fact, our talk went on for a bit more than an hour. We interchanged numbers and managed to meet several times after that, as her schedule toughened up and I started to slack off mine –she was a bit secretive about her strict training, but I never blamed her for it; it was only natural for her to keep quiet about business–, but we texted each other regularly along the day. There was always a good night text that left me breathless for a moment, and blood rushed to my face whenever we agreed on seeing each other for a chat or when I received a voice note of small talk that brightened up my whole day. Lisa liked laughing a lot, about anything that she found strange, amusing or simply unexpected. She could also leap from her usual colorful state of mind to a more melancholic one where she would talk about the stars and abstract concepts. It was so easy being comfortable around her as it was feeling overwhelmed by her glowing personality. I didn’t put much effort in my lessons anymore but I was way more content with a future away from the spotlights and cheered for her instead whenever she told me she was feeling tired. I had learned to feel happy for Lisa and thus became a less bitter person myself.

Then it came the day I left. I had been offered the possibility of a contract renewal but I didn’t mistake it for an enthusiastic offer: it was clear I would have to give 200% more and I didn’t have the strength. They knew I would refuse and I was released with a courteous bow and a wish for me to have luck elsewhere. “It’s simply too much for me, and I’m not even that good”, I had told Lisa earlier, so she already knew too, but was nonetheless saddened by my announced departure from YG’s academy, and it moved me to tears to read her goodbye message, not knowing if we could meet one last time before I abandoned the building, as her practice hours had been increased. We couldn’t.

The night before I got on the taxi that would take me away from the place I have lived in for two years, she sent me the cutest selfie with a cat ears and whiskers filter and her slender fingers posed in a victory sign. Her hair had been bleached to a lighter brown, almost blonde, and the message read ‘I hope you find happiness wherever you go! love you’ with a lot of heart emojis. It should have cheered me up, and in some way it did, but I found myself sobbing quietly. I put my hand over my mouth so that my dorm mates wouldn’t notice. It couldn’t be because of the text itself, so was it because of its implications? Had I lied to myself about conforming to leave YG? Yet the underlying reason was something I wasn’t eager to accept.


	2. Chapter 2

Fast forward a year. I had managed to become part of a small dancing group and actually got to act in some decently big events. I was somewhat linked to that dreamy world of brilliant lights and perfection, and I couldn’t complain. It wasn’t the life I had once dreamed of but it was close enough, and I had to admit that not having the pressure idols had made me relieved. Nonetheless I found myself incapable of forgetting the girl that had made my last days as a trainee much more bearable and I checked YG’s announcements of a new girl group whenever I could. Lisa would be one of them; of that, I was certain, but there were no news for a while and as time went by our texts became more scarce and less frequent, and I distanced myself from YG’s affairs. I had nothing to do with them anymore, and what good would it do me to obsess over it? That doesn’t mean I didn’t picture her smiling back at me like she used to routinely, but I tried to push those memories aside. That wasn’t my life anymore.

One day our crew was invited to be present at a special event. Having not even bothered looking up what all the fuzz was about, I dressed up and let myself get lost in the loudness of the long queue to enter the brightfully-lit building. There were people everywhere and the stage looked really neat and it looked like it was going to be something big. A feeling I had started to forget elbowed its way to the top of my consciousness when the YG company name appeared on screen. It grew bigger as the crowd cheered loudly for four girl’s faces being projected super-sized, like some sort of goddesses of a new era receiving praise from their faithful subjects. These faces, unlike many others, I had never seen before, except for one. I felt my heartbeats stop when a pair of familiar round eyes looking over the multitude before it faded to a black and pink logo and four silhouettes made their appearance on the stage. There they were. YG’s newest prodigy, nurtured for years and now blossoming in front of the masses driven crazy by their fierce charm. Each one of them had a unique vibe and yet they gave off a sense of unity and teamwork that I found unparalleled in the industry, but I was unable to divert my eyes from one of them in particular: a delicate ballerina shining with each step she took, spinning gracefully as well as passionately; her moves were raw magic. Her mere presence was sunshine and despite the fancy clothes and new haircut I could have never mistaken her for anyone else.

I stared at her all her performance and barely realized it was over as she disappeared towards the backstage –how my body had managed to keep breathing was a total mystery to me. The intermission gave me the chance to jump out of my chair among the audience and rush to where I knew the dressing rooms were. Some part of me scolded me for acting like a crazy sasaeng but the rest of me was yelling ‘go big or go home, girl, you might not have another chance’.

Luckily for me, my invitation as part of a dancing crew relieved me from the suspicion of the security guards and I sneaked past them while they were diverted by another group’s entrance to the stage. That’s when I understood I had actually got in. What would I do? What would I say to her if I found her? At least my hair and clothes looked nice that night. I didn’t have much time to hesitate –a dark haired figure appeared right in front of me and flashed me a stunning smile.

“Can I help you?”, she asked with a deep soft voice.

“Um”, I bowed briefly. “I am a friend of Lisa’s, and I was hoping to say hi before the ceremony ends…”.

The girl looked at me with a slight distrust in her black eyes, although her lips were still curved upwards. ‘They must have been warned about deranged fans who would be willing to do anything to meet their idols’. I was preparing myself to get kicked out of the room by the staff when another person came in. This one had peach-colored hair and I recognized her as the lead vocalist of the group, but I couldn’t recall her name. At first she was surprised but then she greeted me kindly. “I know about you! You used to be a trainee at YG’s too!”. Her aegyo game was strong, I had to admit, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, knowing that Lisa was always surrounded but such talented and beautiful beings all the time. I shook the thought out of my mind; they didn’t deserve any ill feelings from me, especially knowing almost first-hand the countless hours of hard work they had on their backs. I introduced myself shyly and then Rosé, the orange-haired girl, told me to wait there for a second. Jisoo, the other one, followed her and I was left alone again, nervously twitching my fingers around strands of hair and tapping my foot on the white floor. Then the door opened again and I heard my name, and it sounded like an angel calling it.

She wore her hair definitely shorter than the last time I had seen her and it was dyed bright yellow. Her eyebrows were arched and at first none of us knew what to do. We simply stood there, a half-smile in our faces. She took one step towards me and then we shared a brief but tight hug that took me by surprise. Her sharply cut hair tickled my neck. Lisa had glitter on her eyelids and her cheeks were a beautiful pink color (because of the adrenaline rush of their performance, right?).

“You look so cute, as always!”, she made me blush too. “What have you been doing?”

I told her briefly about my dancing team, a bit embarrassed because I was in no way near her goddess tier dancing skills, but she genuinely congratulated me for it anyway.

“I’m so glad you got to make your debut”, I replied. “You have done amazing. You all are, I mean, so talented and brilliant!”. She looked radiant and suddenly everything was just like before, as if time hadn’t passed and we were still walking down sun-drenched corridors and talking about anything that crossed our minds. Being honest with each other simply came out as a natural thing for us. We had but a short talk before a staff member called Lisa out. I didn’t want to part so soon yet and it seemed like neither did she, for she made me promise I would attend the party after the gala concluded. She winked at me and rushed to join the rest of her group, and I took a deep breath. Everything had happened so fast and yet my chest was filled with a strange mix of happiness and worry. Had it all been a dream?

My feet returned me to the table where my dancing crew was sitting without needing my guidance to do so. I spent the rest of the evening glancing impatiently at my cellphone wishing that the time would fly. At last it was over, and I sighed in relief when my group decided to go to the party being held by the organization and thus there would be no need for me to insist on attending. I had this feeling that that night was going to be special in some unexpected way –it had already exceeded all my expectations so far– and I just couldn’t shake it off.


	3. Chapter 3

I thought it would be hard to find her amongst the fancy dressed crowd. I approached the bar and thanked heavens for not having the heavy restrictions regarding alcohol that actual idols did have. Emptying my glass at one gulp, I started looking around in search of my date. Wait, date? Why did that word peep out of my mind? It certainly wasn’t a date –not that kind, at least… or was it? I shook my head and squinted my eyes, believing I had found a blonde mane that could belong to her. Turned out to be a vastly different woman when she turned around to greet someone else and I saved the trouble of getting to her and embarrassing myself by mistaking her identity. Just when I started feeling anxious, I recognized her silhouette in a group of fancifully dressed people. The moment she spotted me, she raised a hand and invited me to go along. She introduced me to them and I fought my timidness by doing the same, facing those big names of the industry with a charm I would have thought impossible to convey before. It might sound silly but the last thing I wanted was for her to think that I wasn’t up to the challenge of a social interchange with the famous performers she was used to working with. I wanted to make a stand too so I replaced my inferiority complex with a newfound confidence and actually managed to blend in fairly well. Songs came one after another in the background until Lisa grabbed my hand and pointed to the closest speakers. “This one is so cool!”, dragged me far from the group and started dancing casually, although with the impeccable moves of a professional too. Her intensity was contagious and I couldn’t help but go with the flow. We jumped in place and spun and twirled and threw our hands up and down –hers even looped around my waist at some point, or at least it felt that way briefly– intertwining our arms and exchanging pesky remarks about the guests. I had no idea how much time had passed when we decided to take a rest and made our way to the end of the room. All seats were taken, and she fanned her neck with her hands; it was adorned by a thick golden hoop and the idea of blowing some air in her direction crossed my mind but I held back.

“Can we go outside for a bit?”, she asked. “I need some air”.

“Of course, where–?”

“Actually”, she leaned on my shoulder and whispered to my ear, “I think I might be a little tipsy? Is that the word?” I always found it cute when she struggled with the language. It reminded me she was a foreigner after all. “But please, don’t tell anyone! It would be embarrassing…”

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, if anyone asks we’ll say it was too hot inside. Which is no lie, by the way”.

The entrance door was crowded with fans and bloggers trying to snatch an interview or autograph from whomever dared venture outside the club; at any rate, Lisa had a plan B. We ran up the emergency stairs and ended up on top of the building where a breathtaking view of the city lights lay all around us. Lisa twined her index finger around a strand of platinum blonde hair.

“I was told that refusing a drink from your elders is seen as a huge disrespect”, she claimed, “so when my sunbae offered me one I couldn’t say no! I had never drinked before”. She bit her lower lip, like a child caught with a broken vase at her feet. “I only took a few sips, though, –it was so bitter! – and poured the rest in a flowerpot while nobody was looking”. Her soft giggle wrinkled her nose. I must have looked so silly, staring at her as if I had been living underground all my life and was seeing the sun rise for the first time. She sat on a concrete structure nearby.

“You’re always such a good listener”, she told me. “That’s one of the things I like about you”. Her hair swayed in the night breeze; she was close, and I leaned back in fear of… I didn’t really know. She pouted her pink lips. “Is something wrong?”. Then she brought her hands to her face. “I’m sorry, I’m making you uncomfortable…”. ‘Damn it’, I reprehended myself, kneeled and took her by her shoulders, in an effort to clear up the misunderstanding. But just as I opened my mouth in order to say something, Lisa leaped on me and pressed her lips on mine. My eyes opened wide in astonishment first but then closed as I melted into the kiss. I could taste the bitter drink that had no doubt given her the audacity to be so… straightforward, and beneath there was a genuine, soft sweetness I had so often daydreamed of savouring. I worked my fingers into her hair, clinging to the fact that it was really happening. She was the ocean, and I sunk beneath the waves without even trying to swim. After a while (a few seconds, a few centuries?) she pulled back and gazed at me, expectantly.

“You tricked me”, were my first words, still gasping for air. They were answered with a chuckle that sounded like silver bells chiming as Lisa stretched out her arm in a shy manner and diverted her eyes to the concrete floor of the rooftop.

“I never thought that…”, I let out after regaining my breath. “I would’ve never dared…"

“I know. That’s why I risked it”. She bit her lower lip. Mine still felt swollen as I put my hand over them. “Was it… too soon?” She seemed actually worried that I would reject her, and the idea almost made me laugh. It was time that I admitted it to myself. We had been apart from less than a minute and I was already craving more. For once in my life, I took the first step and embraced her doll-like waist with my arm, closing in. She batted her dark eyelashes flirtatiously with a smirk that threatened to push me into cardiac arrest.

“I’ve had these... feelings for so long”, I stuttered, “but I never dared think you felt remotely the same”.

“You need to be more confident”, she answered. “Confident is an attitude. It’s not something you cannot learn; I have”. She was beautiful in the neon lights of the neighbouring buildings it pained me to know we wouldn’t have much time to spend until someone would start looking for her. She hushed my apprehension with an index finger upon my mouth and I swear her playful sneer could have lightened up the whole city.

“Don’t fret about it now. Let's enjoy this”, she sulked. How she managed to be both an innocent kitten and a mischievous little imp, I’ll never know, but she was a perfect blend of tender and naughty that managed to deprive me of all common sense.

Then she leaned forward and I lost track of time again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it (and covering my face in shame for ever thinking about this, too. Seriously, I have so many issues and all of them are Lisa's perfection).


End file.
